limited advance bookings for april & may now being taken
overnight accommodation available mid-may onwards for those travelling long distances
the thinking man's crumpet! otherwise known as 'the dame with a brain'
mature, high-class, elegant, english blonde, sexy, sensual & sophisticated, educated, intelligent, articulate and very attractive, as well as understanding and empathetic. enjoy a relaxing, no-rush, extremely discreet & confidential liaison or dinner-date with one of the north west's finest courtesans. offering a sensual girlfriend experience with lots of cuddling & kissing to respectful, successful & mature (45+) business/professional gentlemen only.
gorgeous, all-natural, 38gg breasts and curvy hour-glass figure (size 14) offering a very different kind of gfe, including unique *'first time booking service'
before you read on, please note the following:
1. i do not meet with anyone under the age of 45
2. i do not answer 1-line messages but require a polite introductory message, telling me the approximate location where you are based, age & professional background
3. i do not accept booking requests sent without prior communication via email
4. i do not respond to sexually explicit messages (including text messages), which will be deleted without response
5. i do not accept ‘same day’ bookings
any communication which fails to meet these guidelines will immediately be deleted and contact blocked without reply as it proves you have not read my profile correctly, and we would not be compatible. i only meet with mature, educated, professional, articulate and respectful gentlemen. if you cannot fulfil this criteria i will refuse to meet with you, as i only meet with a few gentlemen each month and am extremely selective to ensure we will both enjoy the time we spend together.
it is essential that you read my conditions of booking carefully before getting in touch, and also please make sure you thoroughly read my profile, to ensure i am the type of escort who suits your requirements and that you are the type of gentleman who fits mine.
i also request you to have received both covid vaccinations, as well as the booster to ensure we are both fairly 'safe
hello
welcome to my page, and my world of high-class, sensual, sophisticated seduction for the mature discerning gentlemen who prefer blondes.
i don't apologise for the fact that my profile is long, and receive many compliments from guys who appreciate the time i have taken to put this together. therefore, i ask you to take time to read it thoroughly to understand why i am a breath of fresh air for discerning gentlemen. i am articulate and educated so you might also like to follow my blogs or, to understand my humour, by ticking the box on the blogs tab to be informed when i post a new blog.
if you have been plucking up courage to make contact with a lady and determined that this is the year, then please click on my blogs tab and scroll through to 'new service for first time bookers' dated august 2018, as i fully understand what a big decision it may be to take.
if you are a 'mature' gentleman who enjoys a sensual experience with an equally 'mature' lady then check out my february 2020 blog.
lots of love
lucinda xxxx
conditions of booking: please read all sections before making contact, particularly the 'initial contact' and 'about you' sections
firstly you must be 45+, have had both shots of the coronavirus vaccine as well as the booster, and have at least 3 positive reviews
secondly it is essential that you demonstrate you are a true gentleman by sending me a polite and informative introductory message. failure to do so - such as a one liner, or sexually explicit message, or a booking without any introductory email - will result in your message/booking being deleted immediately and contact blocked. if you can't be bothered to follow my simple request, then i can't be bothered to answer, and it proves to me that we would not enjoy each other's company. i do not respond to time-wasters, idiots, sexually explicit messages or no-shows. if you waste my time in any way, your information will be shared with other ladies and you will find yourself black-listed
however, if you take the time to introduce yourself and tell me something about yourself, you will receive a genuine and fast response, usually within two hours
about me
i am a very attractive, curvy and sensual 63-year old (i have been told on several occasions that i could be mistaken for a woman in her mid-50s), educated business-woman with 'come to bed' eyes, what has been described as a very kissable mouth, and shoulder-length blonde hair. i am articulate and intelligent, well-spoken and well-read and enjoy sharing a genuine girlfriend experience (gfe) with lots of kissing and intimacy with a few very select business/professional only gentlemen between the approximate ages of 45-75.
i have a friendly and chatty personality, am educated to degree level and am extremely easy to get on with. i specialise in helping 'first time' guys feel at ease, and calming nerves, so if you've never met up with an escort before, but have been thinking about it for a while, do get in touch. do also read my blogs to understand more about me.
to meet me you must be well-presented, educated and articulate. i prefer mature gentlemen and am the perfect dinner date companion who knows how to behave and dress demurely in public, but later .....
i am not a bbw, being a size 14, but my body still has curves in all the right places with very large, natural breasts (38gg). i am frequently told i have a fabulous body for my age, although i would never pretend to have the body of (some!) 20 year olds! as the song goes,
" i ain’t no stick-figure sillicone barbie doll. so if that's what you're into go ahead and move along'"
my very large breasts have a huge fan-base, so if you would like to know more about them, please click on the ‘double g’s’ tab. they occasionally like to post their own blogs.
i do not drink (other than the very occasional social drink), smoke or use substances of any kind, and have no tattoos or piercings. i am completely independent and own a small business, so as i lead a very busy life i am only able to offer occasional appointments. therefore i am extremely selective about whom i see.
my very large, safe, period house is comfortable, set away from prying eyes and totally discreet. it is strictly non-smoking/other substance abuse and anyone breaking this rule will be asked to leave immediately.
i am based in the western lake district and do not 'tour'.
my 'services' are listed on this page. if something isn't listed i don't do it so please don't ask or try to persuade me.
i am easy going but i do not tolerate time-wasters. i am not a clock watcher, but neither do i expect you to take advantage of our time together by over-running more than a few minutes unless by invitation. all bookings must be for a minimum of 1 hour - preferably 90 minutes - so please don't insult me by asking for 30mins or even 15minute 'quickies. i operate a 1-strike policy, so if you mess me about by failing to show for an appointment without explanation, i will immediately delete and block your contact. i will also post a negative review, add you to my black list and pass this information onto other ladies.
please read blog dated february 3rd 2019
outcalls
outcalls within 20 minutes of cockermouth are available for a minimum of 90mins at my outcall rate, most times between 11-8pm, by prior arrangement and advance notice.
for further distances, a minimum booking of 2 hours must be made and travelling time charged at £20 per hour. advance payment is required to avoid time-wasters.
i do not accept outcalls after 8.00pm and do not offer outcalls to the homes of people i have not previously met. however i am happy to join you in your hotel. additionally, and out of respect to your partner, i do not visit homes when 'the wife is out'. i can also, with advance notice, join you as a travel companion, at a separately negotiated rate.
incalls
in-calls are available, with advance notice only, for a minimum of 1 hour. if you are travelling some distance to meet me, i can occasionally offer overnight accommodation as a guest in a separate room (minimum 2 hr booking; separate cost for use of room to be advised on enquiry). i can also, on a very few occasions (with plenty of notice) offer an overnight incall at my overnight rate.
please note it is highly unlikely i will be able to accept 'same day bookings' so pre-planning is essential
why am i different?
1. you will immediately notice that my profile is very different from the majority of other ladies on this site. firstly, i do not post any photographs (other than the one i am required to show for verification purposes). this is quite deliberate, as i don't see the point in displaying some amateurish shot with half my body blacked out. i would much rather you meet me in the flesh. you won't be disappointed as i have yet to meet a man who didn't think i am extremely attractive (for my age!). just read my feedback. as a gentleman friend said recently, i am 'all woman'. i am honest about the fact that i no longer have the body of (some!) young women and don't pretend to be something i am not. however, the lack of photos is nothing to do with my looks, it is because discretion is my top priority. so if you are looking for a stunning, sexy, 63-year old, then look no further. please note that i do not respond to requests to forward photos to private email addresses so please don't ask, or your message will be deleted without response.
2. i do not use filthy language or offer 'dirty' sex. i believe in offering a good, old-fashioned girlfriend experience (gfe) rather like courtesans of old, with plenty of kissing, cuddling, intimacy and conversation. the ladies who advertise themselves as 'cum sluts', 'no holes barred', 'filthy', 'taboo' are an anathema to me and the very opposite of the kind of lady i am and what i offer, so if this is what you are looking for, please look elsewhere. i expect total respect from guys i meet. i also do not respond to explicit emails or text messages.
i am the real deal! i do not offer a 'porn star' experience and i do not put on a 'performance'. everything that occurs between us is genuine and replicates a true ‘girlfriend experience’ so that our meeting evolves naturally. there is nothing ‘mechanical’ about our meets. therefore i will not be dictated to as far as what happens between us, what you want me to wear etc. i am mature enough to know that the most sexual part of the body is the brain, and that slow seduction is far more of a 'turn-on' than 'in your face' pornography. i am a very classy woman and expect to be treated as such. if you are looking for a porn star experience (pse) please look elsewhere.
3. my motto is quality not quantity!
i am as discerning as you are. i will only meet up with mature ( 45+) professional or businessmen who are respectful and know how to treat a woman. i need to know as much about you as you do about me because i am extremely choosy about the type of guy i meet up with. but rest assured that it has nothing to do with your looks or 'performance' ability. it is about your attitude and respect, together with our ability to connect on the same level to ensure we enjoy each other's companionship.
for more details please read the section heading 'about you' very carefully
4. i never meet with more than one guy in any one day. i do not offer a production line service (one out, one in) and i am sure you are not the kind of guy who would appreciate being treated as such. if we overrun a little, or you are slightly late (as long as you keep me informed) it is not a problem.
5. my 'service' is much more than a sexual encounter (in fact i sometimes meet up with guys who, for medical or other reasons, cannot - or do not wish to - have sex at all!). our meeting is an intimate liaison which includes tea, coffee, (sometimes lunch if you book me for 2 hours or more), conversation, laughter and relaxation. i have a background in counselling and therapy and an understanding, empathetic nature, so you can discuss your most intimate concerns, worries or fantasies with me, receiving emotional support if needed. i never treat my ‘gentlemen friends’ as ‘punters’ and there is nothing ‘mechanical’ about our meets. i thoroughly enjoy spending time with genuine guys who meet my criteria and count amongst my many friends politicians, civil servants, lawyers, doctors and professionals.
if you are a 'first-timer' or have been trying to pluck up courage for a while to arrange to meet a lady, and have a number of worries or reservations, please read my blog about my very unique 'first time bookers' service
it is worth knowing that a number of my former clients remain my good friends, although i never overstep the boundaries by contacting them - or you - unless by prior agreement.
i have a keen interest in current affairs, have good general knowledge with a diverse range of interests and a decent sense of humour, so can converse on most topics. as an avid writer, i enjoy blogging about a range of thought-provoking topics, often related to this industry, so click on the blog tab to keep updated when i post a new blog.
you will find me a scintillating dinner companion and i love dinner-dates. i offer a special dinner date of 2 hours social and 1.5 hours private, so please email me for details.
6. i do not offer 3-somes or work with other ladies. i am strictly straight and am not into offering duos with other ladies, so please don't ask. i do not tick the 'bi-sexual' box in the hope of attracting more business, because i am not bi-sexual (as i suspect neither are the majority of ladies who say they are!)
about you
warning: despite everything i have written, i still receive messages such as 'u available?'. these will be deleted immediately without response so please read this and the following section very carefully. even if you send me a polite message, failure to provide information about yourself will have the same result of being deleted without a response. i also do not respond to anyone with zero ratings unless you can give me a very good reason
i thoroughly enjoy meeting up with mature, respectful, genuine guys who know how to treat a lady, and i prefer to spend my time with business or professional men aged 45+. i am as discerning as you are about with whom i meet up because it is essential we feel comfortable with each other. having said that, don't worry if you are a little shy, as i am a people-person and am very good at putting you at ease. after a few minutes chat you will lose all your nervousness.
don't worry if you are a little overweight or have any concerns about how well you are endowed, or can 'perform'. i do not expect you to be a stud! in fact, it may not happen at all because of a medical condition or other factors. what is far more important is that we enjoy our time together in a relaxed atmosphere. mutual respect, cleanliness and hygiene are far more my priority. you must be freshly showered or willing to shower upon arrival at my location as i will not tolerate body odour. deodorant please guys!
i value my health (as you should yours!) so please save yourself any humiliation and avoid being asked to leave, by accepting that protection is always used. if you try to avoid this during our meet, i will blacklist you and will post a negative review as well as refusing to see you again. also, if you are looking for dogging, car meets, anal, bareback, water/hard sports etc. please look elsewhere!
i always check your ratings and feedback and no longer respond to anyone with zero feedback, having realised that a lot of guys have no intention of ever making a booking.
see blog dated 26 september
i also prefer to avoid the kind of guys who love to post field reports or blow-by-blow reviews on this or any other site giving an action-filled description of their encounter. if this is you, then please find someone else or consider a career in porn film script-writing. i am simply not that kind of woman and i find these reports tacky and degrading. what happens between us stays absolutely between us! by all means post a review, but nothing in-depth or detailed.
initial/ongoing contact/to make an appointment
discretion is top priority for both you and me
i do not advertise a phone number and do not receive calls and texts - unless by prior arrangement. all contact is requested by email only through this site to ensure our security.
warning! if you have my number delete it immediately for your own security and do not phone/text/whatsapp me at any time unless i am expecting your call. i do not keep your number on my phone.
i will not reply direct to email addresses and will not send photos to email addresses. if you bombard me with messages or dictate what you want me to do/wear etc. or give blow-by-blow descriptions of how you want our meeting to proceed, i will refuse to meet you and block contact. our meetings are spontaneous and personal. i am not a robot or porn star.
please keep your messages polite and booking-related. it is essential that you tell me a little about yourself - age, town you live and some other non-specific details about yourself such as type of work you do. please do not email me unless you can give me this information. i require this information to ascertain that our paths haven't crossed in our 'other lives' and i will not meet anyone close to my home to save embarrassment to us both.
if you do not comply with this request, your message will immediately be deleted without reply
if, after receiving contact from you and reading your message, i feel we would not be compatible, i will not agree to meet you. this may be because i do not believe either of us would enjoy the encounter and i want to save your money, so please do not be offended if i refuse to meet you. it may also be because i feel we are too close for comfort because you live or work close by, as i value both our rights to anonymity. discretion is always top priority.
once a booking has been agreed all bookings must be made through the booking system. failure to make a booking will mean no booking takes place.
please do not send a booking form without emailing me first. one-line emails 'how r u?' 'when r u you free?' 'where are you?' or even a polite 'can you tell me where you are, please?' will be ignored, because they demonstrate you clearly have not read my profile and therefore are not the type of guy who would be compatible with me.
if i feel you are a timewaster or just a general 'prick', or if you enjoy getting off by sending explicit sexual emails i will block your messages. i will not enter into games of 'sext tennis' or 'ping pong' emails (i am not looking for a pen-pal!) so once you have told me something about yourself and i have answered any of your questions, our emails will only contain information regarding confirmation of forthcoming appointments. please read blog dated 5 september 2020. if you continue to bombard me with emails i will simply block you and any subsequent appointment will be cancelled automatically without notice.
in addition, i have now created a 'black-list' of time-wasters and rude/abusive idiots who obviously can't read and continue to send me inappropriate messages. this is an information sharing service readily available to pass to other ladies, so think twice before you send me rude/abusive messges or prove yourself to be a complete time-waster. any serious abuse will be passed on to the national database ugly mugs.
see blog dated 26 september
our meeting
a few minutes prior to our agreed meet time, i will ask you to phone my number from your car so i can guide you to a suitable parking spot. i will then give you my location. i very much appreciate punctuality but would ask you not to arrive ten minutes early as i will probably have to keep you waiting whilst i finish showering.
upon arrival, please bring your 'gift' in a discreet envelope and offer it before our meeting commences.
when you meet me i will be provocatively dressed wearing high heels, stockings and suspenders, seductive lingerie and a revealing dress. i will be freshly showered and expect you to be the same, although if visiting me straight from work you may use my shower. i will be wearing light make-up but not perfume (unless you particularly request this) to ensure no traces of me are left on you after our meet. you are welcome to shower again after our meet and i keep non-perfumed shower products to hand.
it is understandable that you may be a little nervous, but i am extremely adept at putting people at ease. i always like to start off with a nice cup of tea or coffee and have a chat to settle any nerves or simply break the ice, and i don't mind adding this 10-15 minute chat onto your time without any extra charge.
repeat visits
after our first meet it will become obvious whether we have enjoyed our 'encounter' sufficiently to want to build on our acquaintance. this will be as much my choice as yours, and if i have not enjoyed time spent with you, because you have not treated me with respect, have poor personal hygiene, ignored my 'rules' or we simply did not 'click', then there is no point in seeing each other again.
i much prefer to build up a small but highly select number of regular 'gentlemen friends' who are equally seeking a special lady with whom to enjoy mutual friendship and intimacy. think of me as your mistress - i am the 'miss' without the 'stress'.
(by the way, have you heard the new definition of a mistress? 'something between a mister and a mattress')😉
...and finally
if a lot of what i have written resonates with you (you have clearly stuck with me so far!) then you are certainly the kind of guy i would love to 'hook up' with for an hour or two so do please get in touch by email. i very much look forward to hearing from you.
lots of love
lucinda x
I offer two OVERNIGHT OPTIONS
A number of gentlemen have enquired about longer bookings and overnights. I thoroughly enjoy spending quality time with guys who stimulate my senses (in all respects) and so I like to offer a value-for-money, not-to-be-forgotten night or day to remember. These can be offered very occasionally on an in-call basis, dependent on my diary availability. As much advanced notice as possible is required. Please note I do not offer overnight outcalls.
1. LET’S SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER
Firstly, this is only offered to guys I have already met, so that we know we already feel comfortable and relaxed and more importantly, that we enjoy each other's company.
Once this is established I offer the following:
Incall Overnights (£800) this typically lasts from 8pm to 9am annd includes dinner and breakfast.
2. OVERNIGHT ACCOMMODATION IN SEPARATE ROOM WITH MINIMUM 2 HOURS PRIVATE TIME
If you are travelling some considerable distance to see me, or visiting the area for business or holiday purposes, and do not want an overnight booking but require accommodation in a separate room, I can offer this for £70 which includes breakfast. This can only be booked in advance at the same time as a private in-call of a minimum of 2 hours.
Dinner dates - these are offered at my outcall rate for a minimum of 2 hours (1 hour social, 1 hour private time)
A CRY FOR HELP!
So if you can help, please come and release us from our imprisonment and take us out, so YOU can see the point(s) we make, and help us gain the recognition we think we deserve.
You can address your email to us and we will answer (you will unfortunately have to do it through Lucinda's page) but don't tell Lucinda. She is already becoming jealous of all the attention we get, and we don't want to fall out of with her because she might get angry. She is always telling us we are a right pair of tits!!
Hugs and kisses
PS A well-meaning gentleman friend has suggested we have some rivals - The Cheeky Girls - but they are not on the same level as us. We think this is a bum suggestion, and to be frank, bare-faced cheek!! The bottom line is that we are the ones guys come to meet!!!
Another of our appreciative fans also wonders whether, if we staged a fall-out, it might be to our advantage, especially if Lucinda happens to be standing at a mirror with a camera in her hand at the time, but we might be making a huge boob (or two) if we do this! Xxx
PPS If you have any further suggestions you are welcome to send them to us.
MESSAGE FROM LUCINDA: "This is a blatant attempt to hi-jack my profile. I will be dealing with these girls very severely"
Vitals
Gender
Female
Age
66
Orientation
Straight
Nationality
British
Ethnicity
White
Dress Size
14
Height
5'6"
Chest Size
Very Large
Hair Colour
Blonde
Hair Length
Shoulder length
Eye Colour
Grey
Pubic Hair
Shaved Mostly
Location
Town / City
Workington
County
Cumbria
Region
North West
Country
United Kingdom
Activity
Last Login
Today
Views
163406
Registered
26/04/2018
limited advance bookings for april & may now being taken
overnight accommodation available mid-may onwards for those travelling long distances
the thinking man's crumpet! otherwise known as 'the dame with a brain'
mature, high-class, elegant, english blonde, sexy, sensual & sophisticated, educated, intelligent, articulate and very attractive, as well as understanding and empathetic. enjoy a relaxing, no-rush, extremely discreet & confidential liaison or dinner-date with one of the north west's finest courtesans. offering a sensual girlfriend experience with lots of cuddling & kissing to respectful, successful & mature (45+) business/professional gentlemen only.
gorgeous, all-natural, 38gg breasts and curvy hour-glass figure (size 14) offering a very different kind of gfe, including unique *'first time booking service'
before you read on, please note the following:
1. i do not meet with anyone under the age of 45
2. i do not answer 1-line messages but require a polite introductory message, telling me the approximate location where you are based, age & professional background
3. i do not accept booking requests sent without prior communication via email
4. i do not respond to sexually explicit messages (including text messages), which will be deleted without response
5. i do not accept ‘same day’ bookings
any communication which fails to meet these guidelines will immediately be deleted and contact blocked without reply as it proves you have not read my profile correctly, and we would not be compatible. i only meet with mature, educated, professional, articulate and respectful gentlemen. if you cannot fulfil this criteria i will refuse to meet with you, as i only meet with a few gentlemen each month and am extremely selective to ensure we will both enjoy the time we spend together.
it is essential that you read my conditions of booking carefully before getting in touch, and also please make sure you thoroughly read my profile, to ensure i am the type of escort who suits your requirements and that you are the type of gentleman who fits mine.
i also request you to have received both covid vaccinations, as well as the booster to ensure we are both fairly 'safe
hello
welcome to my page, and my world of high-class, sensual, sophisticated seduction for the mature discerning gentlemen who prefer blondes.
i don't apologise for the fact that my profile is long, and receive many compliments from guys who appreciate the time i have taken to put this together. therefore, i ask you to take time to read it thoroughly to understand why i am a breath of fresh air for discerning gentlemen. i am articulate and educated so you might also like to follow my blogs or, to understand my humour, by ticking the box on the blogs tab to be informed when i post a new blog.
if you have been plucking up courage to make contact with a lady and determined that this is the year, then please click on my blogs tab and scroll through to 'new service for first time bookers' dated august 2018, as i fully understand what a big decision it may be to take.
if you are a 'mature' gentleman who enjoys a sensual experience with an equally 'mature' lady then check out my february 2020 blog.
lots of love
lucinda xxxx
conditions of booking: please read all sections before making contact, particularly the 'initial contact' and 'about you' sections
firstly you must be 45+, have had both shots of the coronavirus vaccine as well as the booster, and have at least 3 positive reviews
secondly it is essential that you demonstrate you are a true gentleman by sending me a polite and informative introductory message. failure to do so - such as a one liner, or sexually explicit message, or a booking without any introductory email - will result in your message/booking being deleted immediately and contact blocked. if you can't be bothered to follow my simple request, then i can't be bothered to answer, and it proves to me that we would not enjoy each other's company. i do not respond to time-wasters, idiots, sexually explicit messages or no-shows. if you waste my time in any way, your information will be shared with other ladies and you will find yourself black-listed
however, if you take the time to introduce yourself and tell me something about yourself, you will receive a genuine and fast response, usually within two hours
about me
i am a very attractive, curvy and sensual 63-year old (i have been told on several occasions that i could be mistaken for a woman in her mid-50s), educated business-woman with 'come to bed' eyes, what has been described as a very kissable mouth, and shoulder-length blonde hair. i am articulate and intelligent, well-spoken and well-read and enjoy sharing a genuine girlfriend experience (gfe) with lots of kissing and intimacy with a few very select business/professional only gentlemen between the approximate ages of 45-75.
i have a friendly and chatty personality, am educated to degree level and am extremely easy to get on with. i specialise in helping 'first time' guys feel at ease, and calming nerves, so if you've never met up with an escort before, but have been thinking about it for a while, do get in touch. do also read my blogs to understand more about me.
to meet me you must be well-presented, educated and articulate. i prefer mature gentlemen and am the perfect dinner date companion who knows how to behave and dress demurely in public, but later .....
i am not a bbw, being a size 14, but my body still has curves in all the right places with very large, natural breasts (38gg). i am frequently told i have a fabulous body for my age, although i would never pretend to have the body of (some!) 20 year olds! as the song goes,
" i ain’t no stick-figure sillicone barbie doll. so if that's what you're into go ahead and move along'"
my very large breasts have a huge fan-base, so if you would like to know more about them, please click on the ‘double g’s’ tab. they occasionally like to post their own blogs.
i do not drink (other than the very occasional social drink), smoke or use substances of any kind, and have no tattoos or piercings. i am completely independent and own a small business, so as i lead a very busy life i am only able to offer occasional appointments. therefore i am extremely selective about whom i see.
my very large, safe, period house is comfortable, set away from prying eyes and totally discreet. it is strictly non-smoking/other substance abuse and anyone breaking this rule will be asked to leave immediately.
i am based in the western lake district and do not 'tour'.
my 'services' are listed on this page. if something isn't listed i don't do it so please don't ask or try to persuade me.
i am easy going but i do not tolerate time-wasters. i am not a clock watcher, but neither do i expect you to take advantage of our time together by over-running more than a few minutes unless by invitation. all bookings must be for a minimum of 1 hour - preferably 90 minutes - so please don't insult me by asking for 30mins or even 15minute 'quickies. i operate a 1-strike policy, so if you mess me about by failing to show for an appointment without explanation, i will immediately delete and block your contact. i will also post a negative review, add you to my black list and pass this information onto other ladies.
please read blog dated february 3rd 2019
outcalls
outcalls within 20 minutes of cockermouth are available for a minimum of 90mins at my outcall rate, most times between 11-8pm, by prior arrangement and advance notice.
for further distances, a minimum booking of 2 hours must be made and travelling time charged at £20 per hour. advance payment is required to avoid time-wasters.
i do not accept outcalls after 8.00pm and do not offer outcalls to the homes of people i have not previously met. however i am happy to join you in your hotel. additionally, and out of respect to your partner, i do not visit homes when 'the wife is out'. i can also, with advance notice, join you as a travel companion, at a separately negotiated rate.
incalls
in-calls are available, with advance notice only, for a minimum of 1 hour. if you are travelling some distance to meet me, i can occasionally offer overnight accommodation as a guest in a separate room (minimum 2 hr booking; separate cost for use of room to be advised on enquiry). i can also, on a very few occasions (with plenty of notice) offer an overnight incall at my overnight rate.
please note it is highly unlikely i will be able to accept 'same day bookings' so pre-planning is essential
why am i different?
1. you will immediately notice that my profile is very different from the majority of other ladies on this site. firstly, i do not post any photographs (other than the one i am required to show for verification purposes). this is quite deliberate, as i don't see the point in displaying some amateurish shot with half my body blacked out. i would much rather you meet me in the flesh. you won't be disappointed as i have yet to meet a man who didn't think i am extremely attractive (for my age!). just read my feedback. as a gentleman friend said recently, i am 'all woman'. i am honest about the fact that i no longer have the body of (some!) young women and don't pretend to be something i am not. however, the lack of photos is nothing to do with my looks, it is because discretion is my top priority. so if you are looking for a stunning, sexy, 63-year old, then look no further. please note that i do not respond to requests to forward photos to private email addresses so please don't ask, or your message will be deleted without response.
2. i do not use filthy language or offer 'dirty' sex. i believe in offering a good, old-fashioned girlfriend experience (gfe) rather like courtesans of old, with plenty of kissing, cuddling, intimacy and conversation. the ladies who advertise themselves as 'cum sluts', 'no holes barred', 'filthy', 'taboo' are an anathema to me and the very opposite of the kind of lady i am and what i offer, so if this is what you are looking for, please look elsewhere. i expect total respect from guys i meet. i also do not respond to explicit emails or text messages.
i am the real deal! i do not offer a 'porn star' experience and i do not put on a 'performance'. everything that occurs between us is genuine and replicates a true ‘girlfriend experience’ so that our meeting evolves naturally. there is nothing ‘mechanical’ about our meets. therefore i will not be dictated to as far as what happens between us, what you want me to wear etc. i am mature enough to know that the most sexual part of the body is the brain, and that slow seduction is far more of a 'turn-on' than 'in your face' pornography. i am a very classy woman and expect to be treated as such. if you are looking for a porn star experience (pse) please look elsewhere.
3. my motto is quality not quantity!
i am as discerning as you are. i will only meet up with mature ( 45+) professional or businessmen who are respectful and know how to treat a woman. i need to know as much about you as you do about me because i am extremely choosy about the type of guy i meet up with. but rest assured that it has nothing to do with your looks or 'performance' ability. it is about your attitude and respect, together with our ability to connect on the same level to ensure we enjoy each other's companionship.
for more details please read the section heading 'about you' very carefully
4. i never meet with more than one guy in any one day. i do not offer a production line service (one out, one in) and i am sure you are not the kind of guy who would appreciate being treated as such. if we overrun a little, or you are slightly late (as long as you keep me informed) it is not a problem.
5. my 'service' is much more than a sexual encounter (in fact i sometimes meet up with guys who, for medical or other reasons, cannot - or do not wish to - have sex at all!). our meeting is an intimate liaison which includes tea, coffee, (sometimes lunch if you book me for 2 hours or more), conversation, laughter and relaxation. i have a background in counselling and therapy and an understanding, empathetic nature, so you can discuss your most intimate concerns, worries or fantasies with me, receiving emotional support if needed. i never treat my ‘gentlemen friends’ as ‘punters’ and there is nothing ‘mechanical’ about our meets. i thoroughly enjoy spending time with genuine guys who meet my criteria and count amongst my many friends politicians, civil servants, lawyers, doctors and professionals.
if you are a 'first-timer' or have been trying to pluck up courage for a while to arrange to meet a lady, and have a number of worries or reservations, please read my blog about my very unique 'first time bookers' service
it is worth knowing that a number of my former clients remain my good friends, although i never overstep the boundaries by contacting them - or you - unless by prior agreement.
i have a keen interest in current affairs, have good general knowledge with a diverse range of interests and a decent sense of humour, so can converse on most topics. as an avid writer, i enjoy blogging about a range of thought-provoking topics, often related to this industry, so click on the blog tab to keep updated when i post a new blog.
you will find me a scintillating dinner companion and i love dinner-dates. i offer a special dinner date of 2 hours social and 1.5 hours private, so please email me for details.
6. i do not offer 3-somes or work with other ladies. i am strictly straight and am not into offering duos with other ladies, so please don't ask. i do not tick the 'bi-sexual' box in the hope of attracting more business, because i am not bi-sexual (as i suspect neither are the majority of ladies who say they are!)
about you
warning: despite everything i have written, i still receive messages such as 'u available?'. these will be deleted immediately without response so please read this and the following section very carefully. even if you send me a polite message, failure to provide information about yourself will have the same result of being deleted without a response. i also do not respond to anyone with zero ratings unless you can give me a very good reason
i thoroughly enjoy meeting up with mature, respectful, genuine guys who know how to treat a lady, and i prefer to spend my time with business or professional men aged 45+. i am as discerning as you are about with whom i meet up because it is essential we feel comfortable with each other. having said that, don't worry if you are a little shy, as i am a people-person and am very good at putting you at ease. after a few minutes chat you will lose all your nervousness.
don't worry if you are a little overweight or have any concerns about how well you are endowed, or can 'perform'. i do not expect you to be a stud! in fact, it may not happen at all because of a medical condition or other factors. what is far more important is that we enjoy our time together in a relaxed atmosphere. mutual respect, cleanliness and hygiene are far more my priority. you must be freshly showered or willing to shower upon arrival at my location as i will not tolerate body odour. deodorant please guys!
i value my health (as you should yours!) so please save yourself any humiliation and avoid being asked to leave, by accepting that protection is always used. if you try to avoid this during our meet, i will blacklist you and will post a negative review as well as refusing to see you again. also, if you are looking for dogging, car meets, anal, bareback, water/hard sports etc. please look elsewhere!
i always check your ratings and feedback and no longer respond to anyone with zero feedback, having realised that a lot of guys have no intention of ever making a booking.
see blog dated 26 september
i also prefer to avoid the kind of guys who love to post field reports or blow-by-blow reviews on this or any other site giving an action-filled description of their encounter. if this is you, then please find someone else or consider a career in porn film script-writing. i am simply not that kind of woman and i find these reports tacky and degrading. what happens between us stays absolutely between us! by all means post a review, but nothing in-depth or detailed.
initial/ongoing contact/to make an appointment
discretion is top priority for both you and me
i do not advertise a phone number and do not receive calls and texts - unless by prior arrangement. all contact is requested by email only through this site to ensure our security.
warning! if you have my number delete it immediately for your own security and do not phone/text/whatsapp me at any time unless i am expecting your call. i do not keep your number on my phone.
i will not reply direct to email addresses and will not send photos to email addresses. if you bombard me with messages or dictate what you want me to do/wear etc. or give blow-by-blow descriptions of how you want our meeting to proceed, i will refuse to meet you and block contact. our meetings are spontaneous and personal. i am not a robot or porn star.
please keep your messages polite and booking-related. it is essential that you tell me a little about yourself - age, town you live and some other non-specific details about yourself such as type of work you do. please do not email me unless you can give me this information. i require this information to ascertain that our paths haven't crossed in our 'other lives' and i will not meet anyone close to my home to save embarrassment to us both.
if you do not comply with this request, your message will immediately be deleted without reply
if, after receiving contact from you and reading your message, i feel we would not be compatible, i will not agree to meet you. this may be because i do not believe either of us would enjoy the encounter and i want to save your money, so please do not be offended if i refuse to meet you. it may also be because i feel we are too close for comfort because you live or work close by, as i value both our rights to anonymity. discretion is always top priority.
once a booking has been agreed all bookings must be made through the booking system. failure to make a booking will mean no booking takes place.
please do not send a booking form without emailing me first. one-line emails 'how r u?' 'when r u you free?' 'where are you?' or even a polite 'can you tell me where you are, please?' will be ignored, because they demonstrate you clearly have not read my profile and therefore are not the type of guy who would be compatible with me.
if i feel you are a timewaster or just a general 'prick', or if you enjoy getting off by sending explicit sexual emails i will block your messages. i will not enter into games of 'sext tennis' or 'ping pong' emails (i am not looking for a pen-pal!) so once you have told me something about yourself and i have answered any of your questions, our emails will only contain information regarding confirmation of forthcoming appointments. please read blog dated 5 september 2020. if you continue to bombard me with emails i will simply block you and any subsequent appointment will be cancelled automatically without notice.
in addition, i have now created a 'black-list' of time-wasters and rude/abusive idiots who obviously can't read and continue to send me inappropriate messages. this is an information sharing service readily available to pass to other ladies, so think twice before you send me rude/abusive messges or prove yourself to be a complete time-waster. any serious abuse will be passed on to the national database ugly mugs.
see blog dated 26 september
our meeting
a few minutes prior to our agreed meet time, i will ask you to phone my number from your car so i can guide you to a suitable parking spot. i will then give you my location. i very much appreciate punctuality but would ask you not to arrive ten minutes early as i will probably have to keep you waiting whilst i finish showering.
upon arrival, please bring your 'gift' in a discreet envelope and offer it before our meeting commences.
when you meet me i will be provocatively dressed wearing high heels, stockings and suspenders, seductive lingerie and a revealing dress. i will be freshly showered and expect you to be the same, although if visiting me straight from work you may use my shower. i will be wearing light make-up but not perfume (unless you particularly request this) to ensure no traces of me are left on you after our meet. you are welcome to shower again after our meet and i keep non-perfumed shower products to hand.
it is understandable that you may be a little nervous, but i am extremely adept at putting people at ease. i always like to start off with a nice cup of tea or coffee and have a chat to settle any nerves or simply break the ice, and i don't mind adding this 10-15 minute chat onto your time without any extra charge.
repeat visits
after our first meet it will become obvious whether we have enjoyed our 'encounter' sufficiently to want to build on our acquaintance. this will be as much my choice as yours, and if i have not enjoyed time spent with you, because you have not treated me with respect, have poor personal hygiene, ignored my 'rules' or we simply did not 'click', then there is no point in seeing each other again.
i much prefer to build up a small but highly select number of regular 'gentlemen friends' who are equally seeking a special lady with whom to enjoy mutual friendship and intimacy. think of me as your mistress - i am the 'miss' without the 'stress'.
(by the way, have you heard the new definition of a mistress? 'something between a mister and a mattress')😉
...and finally
if a lot of what i have written resonates with you (you have clearly stuck with me so far!) then you are certainly the kind of guy i would love to 'hook up' with for an hour or two so do please get in touch by email. i very much look forward to hearing from you.
lots of love
lucinda x
I offer two OVERNIGHT OPTIONS
A number of gentlemen have enquired about longer bookings and overnights. I thoroughly enjoy spending quality time with guys who stimulate my senses (in all respects) and so I like to offer a value-for-money, not-to-be-forgotten night or day to remember. These can be offered very occasionally on an in-call basis, dependent on my diary availability. As much advanced notice as possible is required. Please note I do not offer overnight outcalls.
1. LET’S SPEND THE NIGHT TOGETHER
Firstly, this is only offered to guys I have already met, so that we know we already feel comfortable and relaxed and more importantly, that we enjoy each other's company.
Once this is established I offer the following:
Incall Overnights (£800) this typically lasts from 8pm to 9am annd includes dinner and breakfast.
2. OVERNIGHT ACCOMMODATION IN SEPARATE ROOM WITH MINIMUM 2 HOURS PRIVATE TIME
If you are travelling some considerable distance to see me, or visiting the area for business or holiday purposes, and do not want an overnight booking but require accommodation in a separate room, I can offer this for £70 which includes breakfast. This can only be booked in advance at the same time as a private in-call of a minimum of 2 hours.
Dinner dates - these are offered at my outcall rate for a minimum of 2 hours (1 hour social, 1 hour private time)
A CRY FOR HELP!
So if you can help, please come and release us from our imprisonment and take us out, so YOU can see the point(s) we make, and help us gain the recognition we think we deserve.
You can address your email to us and we will answer (you will unfortunately have to do it through Lucinda's page) but don't tell Lucinda. She is already becoming jealous of all the attention we get, and we don't want to fall out of with her because she might get angry. She is always telling us we are a right pair of tits!!
Hugs and kisses
PS A well-meaning gentleman friend has suggested we have some rivals - The Cheeky Girls - but they are not on the same level as us. We think this is a bum suggestion, and to be frank, bare-faced cheek!! The bottom line is that we are the ones guys come to meet!!!
Another of our appreciative fans also wonders whether, if we staged a fall-out, it might be to our advantage, especially if Lucinda happens to be standing at a mirror with a camera in her hand at the time, but we might be making a huge boob (or two) if we do this! Xxx
PPS If you have any further suggestions you are welcome to send them to us.
MESSAGE FROM LUCINDA: "This is a blatant attempt to hi-jack my profile. I will be dealing with these girls very severely"
I Enjoy
Who I'm Into
Alternative Practices